week 6

Week 6

“They are public figures who symbolize private holiness and, therefore, are either drawn to their knees in regular, humble prayer, or are forced to become expert thespians, maintaining a consistent facade of righteousness.”  Stephen Miller

This is a profound statement.  After reading this chapter, I was reminded once again of the stakes in leading worship.  If I lose sight of what’s important I become a liar, trying to demonstrate something I have forgotten to do myself.  The gravity of this responsibility is daunting.   But at the end of the day, whether I am leading worship or not, my aim should be to the same: to be in the presence of the living God.  This is not something I should strive for only because I am doing worship.  It should be such a part of who I am and what I do that the idea of living life without God would be ridiculous.  I know these things, I have grown up hearing the importance of a personal relationship with God that is built in the secret places of my heart and the secluded places of my life.  However, actually living this out is so challenging.  I still do not understand why it is that my personal quiet time with God is the first thing to be neglected.  For some reason, it is the easiest thing to let slide.  Only after feeling life fall apart do I stop and realize wow, I need to spend some time with God.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but the struggle is epic right now.  I always thought that once I was an adult it would be easy to have a daily quiet time.  I never realized how intentional I would have to be to make it happen.  When I read the line “the single most important thing we can do is to stand before the Lord in secret.” I couldn’t help but agree.  And then I started to evaluate if I am living this out in my own life.  I have lots of great excuses and reasons why I haven’t spent time reading my Bible yet today, but the truth is that none of them are any good.  My challenge is to depend on God each day, and use some discipline to carve out the space to be with Him.  

week 5

Week 5

“God creates missionaries by putting Himself on display, so putting Him and his glory on display must be our aim.”  Matt Papa

Worship leading seems to be one of the things that fuels and cultivates missional living.  Throughout the chapter it seems that Matt Papa is trying to communicate how infectious worship can be when it is done correctly.  As a worship leader, the responsibility is to point the spot light at God.  When we do this, missions is a natural outpouring of experiencing God.  Authentic worship as we all know is more than just singing songs.  We do this with the expectation that God is going to show up and we will experience His presence.  The more time we are in His presence the more we become like Him.  God tells of His love for His people all throughout the Bible.  It is a natural course that as our worship is more authentic, our hearts are broken for the lost.  This leads us to missional living whatever that might look like.

Honestly I have never thought about the correlation between worship leading and missions.  I have a huge passion for both, and what impacted me was connecting the dots, and seeing how worship can really affect the missions culture of a church.  I am so thankful to be a part of the Vineyard where our priority is God, and from that worship and missions happen naturally.  Sometimes I forget my own experiences with worship.  I forget that God has spoken to me really clearly during times of corporate worship.  Some of the most pivotal moments in my life have happened during worship including a time when God began to really speak to me about the role that missions would have in my own life.  While I have not yet seen God’s plan with missions in my own life play out entirely, I have a much better grasp of how worship can ignite the spark for missions in the lives of a congregation.

How should the trinity shape our worship??

-the trinity makes our worship possible

-the trinity put us in close proximity to God

-the trinity makes corporate worship a priority

-the trinity preserves worships purity

-the trinity encourages a peaceful, humble posture

-the trinity shapes how worship proceeds

I like how all of these sound.  I like that we get to be close to God and worship in his presence.  I love the emphasis on corporate worship.  This principle of a peaceful and humble posture is precisely how we should approach the throne of God.  Hicks has a lot of really great points in this chapter. 

However, according to the author, it seems as though we do a lot of things wrong in the Vineyard.  While I value what he has to say, I don't agree with all of what he is saying.  He talks about how a pew is more reflective of the trinity than a row of chairs, and how the level of sound from the band reflects a church's view of the trinity.  I guess it all feels a bit legalistic.  

I am by no means a theologian, not even close.  But, it seems as though a lot of what he is saying is all about rules and regulations.  I guess at the end of the day my priority is where my heart is.  I want to acknowledge the trinity in the worship I am participating in.  Maybe I would have been happier if I wouldn't have finished the chapter.  I really liked what I was reading until it got down to the really practical stuff.  It's a bummer it all sounded so good until the music was too loud.

Week 3

Michael Bleecker defines doxology as "praise to God (p. 46)."  As I read his chapter, I get the feeling that doxology is the outward expression of our understanding of God.  It is what we do to express what we believe about God.  I have to admit that this vocabulary is somewhat new to me.  I did a little reading up on doxology and what it means.  I came across some definitions where it refers to "the doxology" where a church sings a specific song or hymn that is  "the doxology" of the church.  It seems as though there are a few hymns or songs that are specified for this use depending on what tradition is practiced.   

It seems to me that scripture ought to be the very foundation of our worship.  Beecker placed a lot of emphasis on understanding the words we sing, knowing where in scripture they come from, and then teaching this to our congregation.  I am starting to understand the idea that theology propels our doxology (p. 46).  What we believe about God will be reflected in how we praise Him whether it is in a very specific song, in the sets that we choose, and even in our posture as we worship.  Really it should be our go to, our plumb line.  

This week's post required a lot of thinking.  These are deep questions that hold a lot of weight, but they are not things that I have spent a lot of time thinking about.  However, I see how these things shape and mold worship leaders.  It is in this type of conversation and thought that I imagine the real work is done and real worship leaders are made.  In many ways I think I take for granted the serious thought and wisdom that goes into writing songs and picking songs.  I am starting to see them in a new light with different criticism.  It's good but it is challenging.

What stuck out this week?

"It's time for us to feel the weight of our calling and with humility and passion, and lead those who God puts in front of us each week.(p.55)"

I feel like this has been my take home more than once.  Leading is such an enormous undertaking.  It requires more than just singing songs.  I know this, it isn't new info but at times I am callous to what's at stake.  I hope and pray that as I lead in worship no matter the setting that my heart is humble and aligned with God.

Week 2

Looking at the qualifications of a worship leader, which area(s) if any were new to you? Which areas do you feel most vulnerable/challenged?

Honestly, none of the qualifications for a leader were new to me. I am familiar with the passages of scripture that Boswell referenced in his qualifications. Whether from our church, conferences, books etc I have heard this list in similar form at one time or another. In light of that, it was a good reminder and interesting to see Boswell's interpretation.

Aside from being born with the wrong anatomy, the area that most challenges me is being disciplined. He talks about being "sober-minded self controlled, and disciplined." I have a lot of great intentions, but a major weakness for me is carrying things through well. I can do it for a short amount of time without too much trouble. It is the day in and day out discipline, the long-term discipline, the marathon discipline that just seems to be beyond my grasp. I absolutely see the value and necessity of having this quality. I just wish I was better at it.

To be honest, meeting all of these qualifications is a daunting thought. It is hard enough just to think of people who meet these standards, but to think about meeting them myself seems impossible. This is a sobering reminder of the gravity of leadership.

Doxology and theology: week 1

     According to Boswell, the five marks of worship are:
The worship of the church is God-centered, biblically formed, gospel-wrought, congregational and missional. The one that is most challenging to me is: the worship of the church is biblically formed. The reason for this is that I forget the importance of the theology of a song. I tend to judge a song by the way it sounds first. While I do look at the lyrics, I tend to pick songs more based on how much I like them as opposed to what they are actually saying. Because most of the songs I choose are ones we are already doing or from within the vineyard, I am spoiled. They are pre-approved. I don't have to put a lot of thought into the theology. While I am thankful for this, I am realizing that I need to be more diligent in doing this on my own instead of assuming someone else has already "screened" a song.

"What we truly believe about the gospel is evidenced by how concerned or unconcerned we are about those who are far from its grip." (pg. 19)
     This quote weighed deeply on me. I am not an extrovert by any stretch. The idea of evangelism actually terrifies me. I have participated in "treasure hunt" style prayer evangelism and it gives me anxiety to even think about it. One I the areas I struggle the most in my relationship with Jesus Christ is actually telling other people about him. I am happy to share all day with someone who asks, but put me in a situation where I have to initiate that conversation and it just doesn't happen. It's not that I don't care about people who are lost, I just seem to be paralyzed when trying to reach out to them. I'd love I say that I make up for it in prayers, but quite honestly I often forget to pray for those who do not know the Lord. This quote hit like hammer. It is an area I know I need to work on, but this quote really revealed the significance of reaching the lost.

Week 9

Wow this was harder than I thought.  Slowing down is something that I have talked about before.  It is something that I have been trying to do in my life more and more.  It is really really hard.  I think there are a million reasons why it is so hard.  Sometimes it just feels lazy, sometimes it feels guilty, and sometimes it feels impossible.  I have implemented leaving early into my life.  Instead of waiting until I have to go, I have been trying to give myself a cushion.  This is actually so nice.  I am not stressed, and I find that I get a little extra quiet time in.  I love Smith’s quote “Be present to the present moment.”  I fell like this has been so much more attainable when I choose to live a more deliberately slow life. 

This is really a challenge living in community with people who are super busy and late.  It is hard to plan life and be deliberate to have it changed up by those who are living differently.  I find I am having to say no more often, sacrifice what I want to do for what I should do, and spend a lot more time planning than I want.  All in all, it remains a better way of living.  I definitely will be trying to live a life that is more contemplative and reflective as opposed to hurried and preoccupied.  As I write this, I still cannot imagine a time when I will take 5 minutes to walk from the living room to the kitchen.  But I do appreciate Smith’s variety of suggestions.

Week 8

I can absolutely relate to Carey’s story.  Since I can remember, I have been taught that sin is something we should not do.  For the most part, this meant that I tried to rely on will power to overcome sin.  This of course has always left me feeling more frustrated and more like a failure than anything else.  It never worked to just try not to sin.  I guess I still fight this way of thinking.

“In Christ I am no longer to be defined by sin.  I have been reconciled.  Sin has been defeated.”  This breaks down the idea that sin defines who I am.  It helps me to see more clearly how God sees me.  I get that I need to not sin, but with that in mind, when I do I don’t have to buy into the lie God doesn’t want me anymore.  In my daily life this helps me to see that sin is something I might do, but sin is not who I am.  Who I am is a child of God.  This is a freeing way of thinking.  It releases the burden of carrying around the bad things I have done because I have attached them to my identity.  Instead it cuts those ties and reminds me that my identity is in Christ.  It creates more space to allow God’s love to change me instead of me trying to change me.   

Solitude

                I love being alone.  It is such a rare thing for me at this point in life that it actually feels like a luxury.  While I love that I get to be home with my boys and I work very little outside of my home, a definite down side is no alone time.  Such is life with small kids.  When I saw this as our soul practice I got really excited.  Unfortunately I never got to have some time to myself.  I got a few minutes here and a few minutes there, but I never got a block of time. 

                I did learn how much I really look forward to time to alone.  I need this space, it renews and refreshes me.  I am a better person, I am more fully who God created me to be when I get time alone.  It takes a lot of work and planning but as time goes on I am realizing how much I need to prioritize this sacred space.

                As far as taking off the masks, I actually feel this is most accurate for me when it comes to worshiping in solitude.  I know that when we talk about solitude is usually means being alone and being quiet, but as I think about it, my most sincere worship comes when I am alone.  My favorite times are when I am home and I get to sit at my piano with no one else around and it’s just me and God.  There is no one to impress, to think about.  I don’t wonder if I seem sincere or look sincere.  I merely find my place at the feet of my Father and worship Him the way I was meant to worship.  The more time I get to spend in this type of worship, the more I understand what it is meant to look like.  That being said, I realize that I need to work on being quiet before God.  I guess maybe it's easier to feel like I have taken off my masks when I am worshiping because I have something to occupy my mind with.  As I think about this concept of being my true self before God, I see that I have some work to do.   

Week 7

Before this chapter, I would have said that Jesus needed to die on the cross to make a way for us to spend eternity in heaven.  He had to die in our place so that we could have the opportunity to be made right with God.  That probably would have been the extent of my explanation. 

When I read this story about Brennan Manning, I was perplexed that I had never thought of Jesus dying on the cross in this manner.  I have never thought, “What more could he have done?”  It made me sad that I had ever questioned his love for me.  I realize how often I take it for granted that he died for me.  Sometimes it is hard not to gloss over the cross.  I have been hearing it my whole life; Jesus died on the cross because he loves me so much.  But, I don’t stop to think about what that means often enough.  Reading this story gave me new perspective on this idea that there isn’t anything else that he could have done to show his love.  He did it all on the cross.  If someone living now did this for me, if someone died on my behalf, in my place, I think I would wake up every morning thinking about it.  I think it would weigh heavy on my mind and heart day after day.  It would change how I see the world, how I make decisions, how I look at life.  I realize that even though this is what Jesus did for me, I don’t let it get that close.  I hold it at a distance.  I depersonalize it as if he died for everyone else but not for me.  I am finding that I need to spend some time meditating on the cross and what it means to me.  What a powerful story.

Living with Margin

                This is something I have struggled to incorporate in my life for a few years.  I think I did try to be more mindful of creating more space in life this week.  I guess one of the suggestions that I did was cutting out unnecessary entertainment.  This isn’t a huge part of my life, so I don’t feel like it really was much different than the norm.  What really made the biggest difference was trying to schedule more efficiently, and limit how much I tried to pack into one day.  This is the thing that causes the biggest amount of stress for me.  It is trying to do 5 million things in one day, dragging the boys here and there. What happens is, I am always in such a hurry that nothing is completed or done well.  So I have to say that in trying to slow down and do less, life felt much better.  I was less frustrated with how the day went mostly because I wasn’t in a hurry trying to get out the door.  I also said “no” a lot more.  This was hard.  It feels selfish to me when I don’t offer to help someone out when I know they could use the help, or bring a meal to everyone I know that just had a baby.  It is a tricky balance for sure trying to figure out how to live a life that is reaching out to others, but not over-reaching so much that there is no time for the most important things. 

                I realize that I feel pressure to do a lot of stuff for other people, and I struggle with knowing when to reach out and when to just be.  I guess I feel like if someone asks, I should say yes.  I am not a “yes” person, but I struggle with this.  When I do say yes to something, I often stress so much about it that I totally regret doing it.  I am learning that I really have to think through what I am doing, why I am doing it, and if I am doing it the best most efficient way possible.  This takes a lot of work, but in the end is so much better.  I have to do things thoughtfully and not out of reaction but out of intentional planning.  After having a pretty quiet week, I realized that I was so much more patient with my 2 year old.  I was able to even laugh at how he doddles and gets distracted with every little thing.  This was really eye opening and in the end rewarding.  Such truly small changes that made life feel so much better. 

               

Love

I have done lectio devina before, and I really enjoyed going through this practice again.  I was especially moved by the passage that Smith chose for us to work through.  Having done this before, it was nice to settle in and spend time in a small part of scripture.  This is actually more reflective of what my typical Bible reading looks like, and while I see the value of our Bible reading program, this is much more my style.  It was refreshing to stop and allow the Word of God speak to me.  I definitely heard pretty loud and clear what God was saying to me through the practice of lectio devina.  While this was a powerful moment, it was a bit heart breaking as God revealed where I need to put some work in.  I love when I sense God’s presence, but sometimes what He reveals is difficult to accept and hard to hear.  However, I already feel like He is changing me, making me a better person, and allowing me to grow in the areas He pointed out in this time.

                I feel like most of the things I “learn” are things I have known but need reminded of.  I guess I learned that God can be very gentle in His discipline.  As He brought to light an area in my life that I really, really need to change, it was such a gentle and kind prompting.  My heart fell as the truth of what He was revealing to me became apparent, but even still I see Him at work in my life already.  I learned about myself that I have really neglected some areas of my life.  There is always something that needs some work.

                “You must sit down,” said Love, “and taste my meat.”

This is my favorite line of the poem.  While I found the entire piece moving, this line grabs my heart.  The last few years God has said to me in many ways through many people to rest in Him.  Over and over again He has said be still, abide in me, rest in me, allow me.  I for some reason am always surprised that God wants us to rest.  I guess part of this comes from this idea that good people work and work hard.  Most of the people I love, respect, and look up to are workers.  I grew up surrounded by family who valued working hard.  This was instilled into me at a young age.  I am very grateful for this.  The only place this is difficult is in my relationship with God.  I forget and undervalue rest.  I overlook that God doesn’t require work from me, He requires a heart that is willing and moldable.  More than anything He wants me to spend time with Him.  It continues to boggle my mind that the God of the universe is interested in me, that He wants to spend time with me.  It is a good reminder once again that if I stop and rest in Him, He will do the work that needs to be done.

Psalm 23

I have spent some time in Psalm 23.  A few months ago I made it a part of my daily practice to recite or read this Psalm every day.  I actually stuck with it for a month or so.  Reading this week that this was the soul training was really exciting.  It was nice to once again revisit this passage that really speaks to me in so many ways.  I didn’t do the same thing every time, but whenever I would think about it, I would in my mind recite and or pray Psalm 23.  One of these times I actually prayed it out loud.  I always find peace in these words.  I feel like they center me and help me to settle in to God and what He has.

                I realized that I miss spending time in this part of scripture on a daily basis.  I need to once again revisit these words daily.  They put my day into perspective even as I begin to recite them. 

                It is really hard to pick out one verse or phrase that is meaningful.  Depending on the day, each line in this passage is so heavy with truth and meaning.  I think one phrase that often speaks to me is he restores my soul.  God restores my soul.  He cares enough about me that even the parts of me that I may not fully know or understand he brings restoration to.  That place in my life that nothing else can heal, nothing else can fix, and He is there.  He is always there waiting for me to quiet myself so that he can move and bring wholeness to me.  I love that this Psalm speaks so confidently.  There is not a question of if God will answer or be near.  Instead it is stated as absolute.  Even in moments of doubt, as I pray these truths my heart is calmed, my soul quieted, and my mind is brought back to the One who created me.  

week 3

“Finding God moment by revelatory moment, in the sacred and the mundane, in the valley and on the hill, in triumph and tragedy, and living praise erupting because of it.  That is what we were made for.”              David Crowder

                Making a list of blessings was not a difficulty for me at all.  I actually really enjoyed it.  Having done a small amount of international travel to Central America, I merely have to remember those trips and my list of blessings grows quite rapidly.   It is amazing what much of the world does without.  Beyond having an incredible family and support system, the list of creature comforts alone fills a page or so.  I know and am reminded often how incredibly blessed I am.  I am completely undeserving though continually thankful for this. 

                I was reminded of how amazing God is.  I did learn that a few of the things I am thankful for actually sometimes annoy me.  An example of this is:  I love that my husband loves to play with my boys.  Often this playtime gets rowdy and loud.  In the moment I am often annoyed with the noise level and craziness of what those boys are doing.  But I wouldn’t change it.  I know the value of the role my husband plays in their lives as their dad, and I realize that I need to chill out.  What they are doing, though loud and crazy is important and one day I will miss getting to be the audience. 

                I wasn’t really surprised by anything that made my list.  I think when you travel outside of the US, many things that you take for granted are made pretty apparent.  This is especially true if you visit any developing countries.  I am so grateful that I have had the opportunities in my life to travel a bit.  It has helped me to put life into perspective and to understand a little of what many people go without.  In addition to this, I have some dear friends who once lived in Honduras.  One was born there and the other lived there for 7 years.  Just sitting with them and hearing a little of what life was like there always helps me to see how truly spoiled I am. 

                This was a really nice exercise.  I looked forward to the end of the night when I would grab a pen and sit with my journal and jot down a few more things that I am thankful for.  I think I might make this a weekly habit.   

Shhhhhhhhhhh

The Beauty of Silence

I am sitting beside a pool surrounded by trees with birds chirping all around. Though there is laughter and shouting it is a serene and silent moment. I love silence, I crave quiet. It is what soothes my soul. While I enjoy the peacefulness of no noise, what really renews me is the moments that my mind is quiet. This is the task for me. To not only find space for literal silence, but to find a way to silence within. I was able to find space for the practice of this discipline although I need to make more time to sit and be.
I realize that more than physical silence I need to practice inner silence. I have a constant ticker running all of the things I need to do, plan, figure out, and pray about. My struggle is in letting those things fall so that I can just be. So that I can rest in the presence of The Almighty. I also discovered that I am currently struggling to know deep within that God is good. It is something I know and have known. He has shown me time and time again His goodness, but last year was a rough one for us. I am realizing that I am still trying to process through some of the tragic losses we endured. When life gets crappy it's sometimes hard for me to fully grasp that God is good when my heart is so full of sorrow and grief. I am so thankful that God allows me to work through these times in life. That He remains close even as I struggle to hang on to the truths He has revealed to me again and again.
It was hard to find the time to spend in silence mostly because I read the soul training Tuesday. So I've only had a few days to focus in on this particular discipline. Also, I am so forgetful that there are times that I just don't remember until I am drifting off into sleep. A point in which silence only leads to slumber.
I was walking with my son talking about some flowers, and I was reminded how Jesus tells us that he clothes the lilies and provides for the birds of the air....how much more does he care for us??? (Matthew 6:28-33). Being in nature and taking some time to be in creation with my son actually allows me to share a lot about God and his love for us. I am just thinking maybe that is a space where I can hear/sense God more easily.I am much more aware of His love when I am paying attention to what He has created.

Week 1

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I love sleep.  To have an "assignment" of practicing sleep is like a dream come true.  Unfortunately, at this point in my life, sleep is like an elusive unicorn that doesn't exist.  It's like a cloud, from afar it's there but once you get close, it's impossible to grasp.  So, did I practice this discipline of slumber?  Well, I did attempt to go to bed early, but the harder I tried the worse it was.  It felt like as soon as my head hit my pillow my little one woke up, then for some unknown reason my 2 year old would wake up, then my little one got up, etc. and then the sun is up.  At least that is what I hear "mommy, the sun is up! wake up!"  This is the way it goes right now.  Did I make an attempt to get more sleep, yes.  Did it work? No.  I had to laugh that this was our "soul training" this week because my husband's schedule was supposed to be a lovely 7am-3pm Monday through Friday sort of thing.  But as life would have it, it was crazy and he had to go to work on the weekend and all hours of the night on more than one occasion.  So needless to say the three Smith men living in my house make sleeping oh but a dream.  I honestly just felt frustrated and exhausted.  Perhaps a season of sleep will be in my 10 year plan.

What did I learn about myself through this practice of sleep?  Well, I turn into a terrible person when I don't get enough sleep, but I already knew that.   So, I didn't have any deep revelations.  Maybe when I actually get such glorious stretches of sleep I will be able to think straight enough to discover something.

I don't feel like I had any aha moments about God through this exercise.  I was however reminded of how often God talks about rest in the Bible.  I am reassured that all through His Word He calls us to rest.  That is music to my ears. Time and time again He calls me/us to rest in Him.  To lean on Him, to draw from His strength.  My God is so good.  I forget that He truly cares for me and my well-being.  He doesn't want or expect me live life at the pace our society has set.  His grace truly is sufficient even for a sleep deprived mamma like me.  If only I could grasp that before my morning cup of coffee.  

On another note, this book is refreshingly easy to read thus far.  I do feel like I am hearing a lot of thoughts that mirror those of Richard Foster.  I am eager to read more.  I find such truth in what Smith has to say so far.  

Week 7

The more we know about it, the more we study the stars or the rocks or the whales or the volcanoes, the more we ought to praise God, summing up in articulate speech, the inarticulate praises of all creation (193)

There is nothing more humbling to me than to gaze into the sky on a dark clear night in the middle of a forest and see the vastness of a sky full of stars.  When I feel far from God, or overlooked, I like to sit and ponder this idea that the creator of the universe created me.  I love what Wright is saying here.  When we stop to see what God has created, we can't help but praise him.  It's like the amazing sunsets that we get here in AZ.  There are times where you just can't help but stand in awe of the beauty.  I know Wright says "we ought to praise God," but I think we can't help but praise Him when we take the time to take in His handiwork.

Maybe the challenge is taking the time to actually settle in enough to enjoy God's creation.  How often I find myself rushing here and there.  I get so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forget to enjoy what God has given me.  Then my sweet little boy reminds me when he becomes enthralled with a lizard on the wall, a flower on a plant, or a stick in the grass.  Or my husband stops me and says come look at this sunset.  I am so thankful God has placed people in my life who help me to pause and savor these moments.  

Week 6

I am not sure if I agree or disagree with the statement Wright makes when he says, "To worship without using the Psalms is to risk planting seeds that will never take root." (165).  It is hard to argue against Wright.  The Psalms are amazing.  I think they belong in our services, but it feels like he is saying without them it is frivolous or shallow to do anything at all.  I see their value and sanctity but I do not think its all for not without them.  Perhaps I would feel differently if growing up the tradition of worship I knew was more reflective of his perspective.  My curiosity is definitely piqued at this point.  It would be fascinating to attend a service that reflected Wrights perspective on the Psalms.  Finding a service like this would be the difficulty I imagine.  

Yikes this is late: week 5

"That life is constantly praising its maker by being, particularly and peculiarly, what it is."  (pg. 120)

"The glory of God, said theologian Ireneus, is a human being fully alive." (pg. 135)

These two statements caught my eye this week.  In essence I think they are saying the same thing.  When I am who God created me to be, He is glorified.  I find a lot of freedom in this.  God created me in his image, yet I have my own unique quirks and characteristics that make me who I am.  God in his infinite wisdom designed me so that the more I become who He created me to be, the more He is honored.  I think maybe this is one of the reasons that people spend so much of their lives searching for who they really are.  One of the most tragic things for me growing up in the church has been seeing the people I looked up to and admired fall apart.  Perhaps this happens when people pursue what they want to be instead of who God made them to be.  Life is a work in progress, growing and learning more about myself is part of the process.  It isn't bad when I discover new things about myself, the problem is created when I step outside of what God has created in me.  The amazing thing that I love about all of this is:  the more I know God, the more I am able to see who he created me to be.  Growing closer to God, pursuing God unravels his intention for me.  I am allowed encouraged even to rest in who my creator made me to be.  To be at peace with who I am, I don't have to strive after who I think I should or could be, as long as I simply rest in His presence. Who God has created in me will rise to the surface.

This book is sometimes hard to read because it takes a lot of concentration and time, but I am enjoy learning how the Psalms are woven throughout the Bible.  It's a little intense trying to keep up, but it's pretty amazing that we have access to this amazing Word of God.  Not to mention all of the resources we have at our fingertips to further understand the Bible.  I can't imagine what life must be like for those who do not own a Bible.  It makes more sense to me why back in the day they spent so much time in the temple learning about and memorizing the Torah.  I forget how spoiled I am.  I would be clinging to every word if I wasn't able to just go back and read it again another day.  I need to live a little more like my life depends on this "good book" because in all actuality, my life does depend on these words.

week 4

Week 4

“And at the heart of that new land, we see not a sacred building of bricks and mortar but a sacred people, whose very hearts have become the dwelling place of the living God by his Spirit, enabling them to be conformed to “the model of the image of his son,” the one in whom the Psalms’ greatest promises have found their fulfillment.” (115)

As we have been reading through the Old Testament, I am reminded how powerful the God that we serve is.  I know this, but reading the stories of Moses, Noah and David opens my eyes once again to the astounding power of our God.  I wonder how the Israelites would respond to Wrights statement, “…we see not a sacred building of bricks and mortar but a sacred people, whose hearts have become the dwelling place of the living God by his Spirit…”  The awe and fear they felt toward God make me wonder if they might have been quite frightened by this idea.  When I think about this I realize how incredible it is that the God of the universe has made a way to reside in me.  We often use language like, “ask Jesus to come into your heart” but seldom if ever do I realize the weight of this statement.  The Almighty God not only knows me, knows my name, my place in life, but He has made a way for the Holy Spirit to reside in me.  This is hard to grasp and even more difficult to try to write about. 

How great my faith would be if on a daily basis I could sink into the place of knowing that the Holy Spirit dwells in me.  I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around this, but I do not doubt that I could truly move mountains if I walked daily in this truth.  What an incredible time of worship it would be if I could grasp this concept and lead worship from a place of truly understanding what this means.  I am so grateful that God allows me to grapple with these ideas as I attempt to live life in a way that is honoring to Him.