Week 10: Confession

Where are your greatest difficulties in understanding and accepting the forgiveness of God?

I don’t know why this is so hard.  I guess when it comes down to it, I just don’t always feel worthy of such forgiveness.  I grew up in a Christian home, I became a Christian at a very young age, and I have never walked away from God.  I know that God is good, and that He loves me.  With all that being said, I have always struggled with feeling God’s love.  It is one of those things that I know, but I guess I don’t feel it most of the time.  There are times where God moves in a big way and I am reminded how much he loves me, but in my day to day life, it’s something I forget.  Perhaps the big lesson for me here is to spend more time reminding myself of God’s love.

In my mind, if I had a greater understanding of God’s love for me, than accepting His forgiveness would be easier…not sinning would be easier.  It is so hard to wrap my mind around the idea that God loves me so much that he would give up the life of his son.  Knowing fully all of the stupid things I do, why would He do this?  It is so hard to grasp this concept.  Yet, that is the truth.  This is the amazing part of being a Christian.

This gets tricky when leading worship.  How do I lead songs like “This is Amazing Grace” and “The Lord is Gracious” when I struggle believing them?  This again is where God moves and reminds me of His love for me.  When I lead songs like these, God speaks to me, He whispers ever so softly to the depths of my soul and reminds me that no matter what He loves me.  And in those moments I believe Him.  He is so good.