Prayer

Week Three

Prayer

In what aspect of prayer are you least able to feel confident?

                Foster says, “Listening to the Lord is the first thing, the second thing, and the third thing necessary for successful intercession.”  This is my struggle.  So essentially, my foundation of prayer is all wrong.  I have been praying since before I can remember.  I rarely feel uncomfortable or self-conscious of prayers regardless of the situation.  However, I have been frustrated over and over again feeling like my prayers are useless.  Reading this chapter was eye opening.  How often do I listen first?  Rarely….do I ask God who and what I should prayer for?  Again the answer to this is rarely.  I have heard again and again the importance of praying in accordance with God’s will, but I guess I have never spent the time to understand how one does this.  By God’s grace and mercy I have seen first-hand the power of prayer.  Not just my own prayers, but the prayers of others.  I have been so blessed to grow up in the Vineyard.  I have watched intercessors who have literally for years carried the burdens of our church on their backs spending endless hours on their knees with little to no recognition, and I know they wouldn’t have it any other way.  I have pondered how they do this….how do they seem to know what to pray?  How do they have such patience and obedience?  I am realizing after reading this chapter that much of what they do is listen. 

                So, instead of writing out my list of people and things to pray for, my challenge is to actually ask God what he would have me pray for…what a concept.   I love that Foster tells us to start small.  My prayer request list is full of people with chronic debilitating diseases.  It is full of impossible situations.  I do not by any means think I am supposed to toss these things aside; however, I see the value in starting with small things.  So really once I again God is reminding me to slow down, to make space, to allow Him to move and do the work.  He tends to have to show me things over and over again until I get the concept.  The idea of making more space for Him seems to be yet another part of the puzzle for me.  How profound yet simple this is.  Of course I should be spending time asking God what I should be praying for and who I should be praying for, yet here I am a little perplexed at what this looks like.  I guess it is to square 1 I will go.  Back to the basics with the hope that I can build a foundation that is sturdier, more grounded, and actually constructed on Him.

 

Week Two: Meditation

Week Two

What suggestions in Chapter 2 seem most helpful to you in making meditation a regular part of your life?

                I think for me some of the greatest suggestions actually came from Foster’s explanation of the different types of meditation.  More specifically as he explains “re-collection” or “centering down” with the physical movements of “palms down, palms up.”  I have had the misconception in the past that meditation is all about being still and trying to in some ways empty my mind.  As I have attempted to do this in the past, I have failed miserably.  Trying to think of nothing makes me think of a thousand different things, none of which are important.  This particular type of meditation helps me to focus my thoughts and burdens in a productive way.  I appreciate that the physical posture is a reflection of what my heart is doing.  For some reason, the physical change in the hands helps me to visualize and truly focus on what I am saying to God.  Thora used this type of meditation in a sermon she taught, and it was the first time I had ever practiced the “palms down, palms up”.  It was a powerful moment then, and reading it reminded me of how effective this particular type of meditation is for me personally.  I find that by having a few moments of focused thoughts, my mind more readily becomes still. 

                Earlier in chapter two Foster talks about “holy leisure,” and how it profoundly affects living a life of contemplation.  I find it interesting that this was in some ways discussed during the sermon this week.  Though the concept of having a less crazy schedule is an easy one, putting this into practice proves to be quite a challenge in my life.  I do agree with Foster that this is a major component of living a life of contemplation.  Like much of what Foster says, this sounds so easy and makes so much sense, but actually putting into practice on the day to day feels like moving mountains.  I think I sometimes overlook the importance of having this type of lifestyle; one where I have the time and space to actually hear what God is trying to say to me.  I guess it is time to take a look at the calendar and do some spring cleaning….what ironic timing to be feeling God say slow down when we are expecting our second little boy in a few weeks.  Essentially this is probably the most practical way for me to make meditation a more regular part of life.  This book continues to challenge how I live life on the day-to-day.  It’s easy to understand but so very difficult to do….

                Oddly enough worship is one space where meditation comes more naturally.  I have never put it together until I started typing this out, but I find myself more comfortable in the silence in the context of worship than anywhere else.  Whether I am having personal worship or leading a set, some of the most profound moments have come while waiting on God.  Whether it is before a set begins, or at the conclusion of worship, waiting on God for just a few brief moments has truly changed me in big ways.  The biggest challenge is creating the space to do this more often in my personal times of worship.  I crave these moments; I know I need them to be more effective and to grow deeper with God.  Now I just need to find the time and to protect it instead of filling it with seemingly important things. 

VC Apprenticeship Week One

What insights from Foster’s discussion of the Spiritual Disciplines are most relevant to you personally?  With which do you agree or disagree most strongly?

  The phrase “the path of disciplined grace” struck a chord with me.  I have never quite heard it explained this way and it makes so much sense to me.  I love that Foster addresses the fact that it is not just my desire to change, but it is God who changes me.   It is a free gift, yet I still have to put effort into it.  I think one of the reasons I have looked at many of the disciplines as daunting and somewhat impossible is because I have attempted to do them on my own.  I know that real change only comes from God, but actually putting in the work and allowing Him to change me is the challenge.  The delicate balance of allowing God to change me yet working toward change is very tricky.  I really appreciate the way that Foster addresses this balance.

I also was struck by the section where he talks about “will worship.”  For me this has been a black hole that I have been sucked into time and time again.  Without being intentional about relying on God to do the real work, I have found myself discouraged and frustrated because the results don’t last.  On the flip side, when I feel like I am doing a good job, I have the tendency to pat myself on the back as if I did something.  I have never quite seen how wrong this is.  The explanation he gives of this being a form of idolatry caused me to do some serious soul searching.   

            I have a feeling that Foster is going to challenge much of how I view the disciplines.  I am excited to read more and dig a little deeper.