I love sleep. To have an "assignment" of practicing sleep is like a dream come true. Unfortunately, at this point in my life, sleep is like an elusive unicorn that doesn't exist. It's like a cloud, from afar it's there but once you get close, it's impossible to grasp. So, did I practice this discipline of slumber? Well, I did attempt to go to bed early, but the harder I tried the worse it was. It felt like as soon as my head hit my pillow my little one woke up, then for some unknown reason my 2 year old would wake up, then my little one got up, etc. and then the sun is up. At least that is what I hear "mommy, the sun is up! wake up!" This is the way it goes right now. Did I make an attempt to get more sleep, yes. Did it work? No. I had to laugh that this was our "soul training" this week because my husband's schedule was supposed to be a lovely 7am-3pm Monday through Friday sort of thing. But as life would have it, it was crazy and he had to go to work on the weekend and all hours of the night on more than one occasion. So needless to say the three Smith men living in my house make sleeping oh but a dream. I honestly just felt frustrated and exhausted. Perhaps a season of sleep will be in my 10 year plan.
What did I learn about myself through this practice of sleep? Well, I turn into a terrible person when I don't get enough sleep, but I already knew that. So, I didn't have any deep revelations. Maybe when I actually get such glorious stretches of sleep I will be able to think straight enough to discover something.
I don't feel like I had any aha moments about God through this exercise. I was however reminded of how often God talks about rest in the Bible. I am reassured that all through His Word He calls us to rest. That is music to my ears. Time and time again He calls me/us to rest in Him. To lean on Him, to draw from His strength. My God is so good. I forget that He truly cares for me and my well-being. He doesn't want or expect me live life at the pace our society has set. His grace truly is sufficient even for a sleep deprived mamma like me. If only I could grasp that before my morning cup of coffee.
On another note, this book is refreshingly easy to read thus far. I do feel like I am hearing a lot of thoughts that mirror those of Richard Foster. I am eager to read more. I find such truth in what Smith has to say so far.
Yes, God created us to get 8 hours of sleep, but He also understands when life is just too crazy for that to happen - when you're a mom and when your husband has a crazy job. I love your thoughts at the end that we can rest in God, He will be our strength, and His grace is enough when we are sleep deprived. I tend to get bitter when I don't get enough sleep - because many times there is a kid to blame. But, this is a good reminder that I need to not let that set the course for my day. These children are a blessing and they are worth sleepless nights - we just need to lean on our Father in Heaven for strength. He certainly knows what we are going through. Great thoughts!
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